Using Less Caveats

Or, how to straighten the spine

Having people read my writing on the internet comes with an itchy feeling. These posts are journal entries but there’s an audience - some even pay to be here (you?!) - so I feel the necessity to produce and produce well. And then I get in my head and, though I am chock-full of ideas (and enjoy the extra income), the newsletters are sent irregularly. Brie and I were talking about anxiety and performance recently and I said, “The only time I’m unsure of myself is about the subject matter of my newsletters.” I really feel confident about my talents when it comes to Club Vintage or design or any of the other, many professional things I dabble in. I know what I like (I have great taste) and I’m curious and communicative and good at research. Writing like this, however, is the brain flayed open.

With writing, the expectation is explanation and exploration but it comes from one person (me) and not a team to check and balance. Opening my writing to criticism is painful but necessary to make anything worth producing. Right? In public spheres, I lean into my masculine side. I’ve been bossy since day one anyway (I’m the eldest) but I’d like to stop using caveats like, “well maybe it’s because I’m older now but I think…” and “having worked in this space for X years…” Just say the thing. Age is experience and I’m wise enough. Commes des Garçons! Do it like the boys.

Interviews with successful women - especially in fashion (I am using the word “especially” because most of my media intake is in the category) - often come with a film of apologetic slip, references to imposter syndrome and privilege-gratitude before we can say, “yes I did that and of course you like it. It’s really good.”